Okay, it’s 2012, the final year of Earth as we know it. So, if you are like me, you’ll have a plan ready just in case those whackjobs are right about the upcoming apocalypse. What? You don’t? Good thing you all have me to watch your backs. Even smart people who know better have an apocalypse survival plan. The Centers for Disease Control even has an article about surviving a zombie apocalypse. No seriously. Now that you see the importance of this Take Ten, let’s examine what might cause an apocalypse:
A major political shift that affects the stability of world super powers, and leads to widespread panic, economic instability and worldwide famine
A worldwide pandemic
A mega volcano eruption
An asteroid impact
…and zombies. Now here’s your apocalypse survival guide. Since you’re the unlucky bastard who made it out alive, you should try to stay that way.
1. Buy a sturdy, well-made backpack.
And never take it off. Not even if you’re having nasty, bugs-in-your-ass sex with a fellow survivor, because sex is a need too. You’ll need your backpack to carry all the shit I’m going to tell you to have ready. And condoms. Don’t forget condoms.
We can’t deny that the fascination with vampires in literature is old and complex. Vampires represent the darker, repressed side of human nature and society. Death, immortality, violence, deviant sex—all the things we’re supposed to shy away from—but secretly long for—are major components of vampires in fiction. Well, until Meyer came along with sparkles and vamps who don’t drink human blood.
Now, Stephenie Meyer, despite turning these glorious monsters into teenage clichés, has injected a much-needed jolt of life into the paranormal genre with her impossibly successful Twilight Saga. For this, she gets major points. However, when comparing vampires of yesterday and today, which author comes out on top; the dark, tortured souls that inhabit Anne Rice’s fantasy world, or the glittery heartthrobs that torture teenage dreams of Twihards worldwide?
Often when a book is adapted to film, whether for television or movies, a little of the magic is lost. I’ve found myself excited to see my fictional world brought to life many times, only to be disappointed with what Hollywood presented me. The problem is that writers have the luxury of however many pages it takes to convey our story, characters, setting, etc. to the reader. A screenwriter does not. So, he must pull what is necessary from the plot and dialogue, and then the setting is created based on what the filmmakers see when they read. This can differ greatly from what you or I imagine. Then it’s on to casting the characters, which can be a tightrope walk. Sometimes the writer describes the protagonist as a tall man with dark hair and rugged good looks, but Brad Pitt gets the role. This can be jarring when you’ve fallen in love with a George Clooney type of character in your mind.
True Blood is a refreshing change from my previous experience with book to film adaptations. But which is better, the film or the books?
I’m not really sure if this is the best place to voice these opinions and concerns. And I’m not really sure if it’s my place to be voicing them at all. This whole topic isn’t easy for me to discuss (it’s very personal) but I’ve never been very good…
nce I wrote a story about this girl who called up a demon. My initial plan was to have her go all badass and the demon would be this sexy beast kind of demon who saves her and blah, blah, blah. However, after researching demons I realized it wouldn’t be quite the happily ever after I had in mind. First, demons are really fucking scary. Second, you cannot control a demon. Nope. Not ever. That’s not to say it might not be worth calling one.
Pro: Demons will kick whatever ass you name. Imagine making those bastards pay for the grief they’ve caused you. I have this list…
Con: Sometimes demons get a little out of control due to their overwhelming desire to take over the world. So you might end up with more than one score settled, possibly scores you didn’t even know you had.
Pro: Your demon might give you the opportunity to be immortal.
Con: You’d be immortal in Hell, which I hear is a tad on the warm side and there’s a lot of screaming and chaos and pain.
Pro: Aligning with a demon is better than with a vampire because they don’t need to feed on your blood.
Con: While they’re not fans of blood cocktails, they might feed on your flesh just for fun.
Chuck Wendig is a man of great energy in need of a handicap – which is why he has been invited to the Rack. Chuck is a novelist, screenwriter, and game designer. His books include DOUBLE DEAD, BLACKBIRDS, MOCKINGBIRD, and the recently unleashed SHOTGUN GRAVY (Atlanta Burns), the first novella in a series that he’s about to whip out onto the unsuspecting world. Oh, and there’s the short stories artfully arranged in an array of journals and zines. And did I mention the spec screenplays, and his contribution to RPG?
fter laboring for months or years, wrestling with a manuscript, you’ve finished a novel. Then, if you want representation, you face running the gauntlet of finding an agent. Many writers in this site have been there. We’ve endured the tension of waiting, the depressing silences, and the rejections.
Inexperienced writers assume there could be scores of reasons why an agent passes on a query or proposal. In our experience, a manuscript can have three flaws: a. Our chosen genre or the type of manuscript doesn’t fit the agency.
b. Our manuscript is poorly written.
c. Our plot is cliche.
Unfortunately, books with one, two, or even all three flaws are published every day. But these are the exceptions. A contention shared by agents and publishers alike is that a manuscript lacking any of those faults will be snatched at once.
This week we’ll review the first of these three possible reasons behind receiving that nasty rejection, namely: Our chosen genre or the type of manuscript doesn’t fit the agency.
You’ve got me and my word obsession, so I’m here to help you out. Writers should never use a thesaurus anyway. So, here are ten more weird and wonderful words I wish you’d all start using so that I can too.
No, but seriously, it’s a word. When your dad calls that guy you’re seeing a useless tit, well he’s made a floccinaucinihilipilification. Say that three times fast. This word means “estimation that something is valueless.” Proper pronunciation? Look it up.
We all know someone who is inaniloquent, or given to talking mindlessly. Someone who is excessively talkative or garrulous is inaniloquent, an idle talker.
You know those idiots who are like, “Yes, I know you love him, but are you in love with him?” They’re referring to limerance. This term was coined in 1977 by a psychologist to describe an involuntary but conscious state of mind which occurs as the result of a romantic attraction to another person that is combined with an irresistible, obsessive need to have those feelings reciprocated. And by romantic love, we mean you want to do the nasty so bad you can taste it, but in a loving, worshipful, not dirty kind of way. Not the same way you did the nasty with that stripper you picked up at the bar.
Pertaining to the hour of midnight. Now you might be wondering how such a word is used. I will show you. “I’m not a mesonoxian vampire. I must have sunlight to survive.”
If you pull things from the trash, which may or may not be valuable, you’re a mungo. It means a dumpster diver. Handy little word, I think. And it really makes for much tighter prose than “dumpster diver” or “trash bandit.”
This word is derived from the latin word, nihil, which means “nothing.” The term refers to someone who does work of little importance. By “little importance” I mean work that is in no way challenging or interesting. I should point out though, that there is no entry for this in Merriam-Webster’s, so do with it what you will.
This is a rarely used adjective, deemed obsolete and therefore no longer in Webster’s, so let’s bring it back from the brink. Instead of saying, “The day before yesterday” use “nudiustertian.” Pronounce it: nu-di-uhs-TUR-shuhn. Yeah, it’s kind of awkward. But it’s good to know there’s a word for the day before yesterday. Usage? “Those shoes are so nudiustertian.” Even more insulting than saying they’re “so yesterday.”
Phenakism refers to the act of deceit, or pertaining to deception or trickery. Usage? “The government’s phenakism should shock people, but Americans/Canadians have come to expect such dishonest behavior from politicians.”
When the town was ripping up my road every summer for the first four years we lived in this house, everything was pulveratricious—covered with dust.
Those annoying bitches in high school with their fake laughs, designer clothes, painted-on tans and cold, vicious, empty lives; they were rastaquoueres, which means social climbers. I like “shallow bitch who will have many babies, get fat and suffer a cheating alcoholic has-been husband” much better too. It’s actually derived from the French word “rastaquouère,” meaning “social intruder, upstart, particularly one of exaggerated manners and dress.” Love those French.